Tell "Hippie Mulch" what you think of it

 
There's a new product in the works, and the makers have asked students at the University of St. Thomas  ("one of the most highly renowned business schools in the globe," they tell me) to research "the best way to get into our consumers minds and figure out what their priorities are."  Toward that end, they're asking us to take a quick survey about the product - a spray-on mulch colerant called Hippie Mulch.  Yes, I did ask if this was a joke and was told they're "EXTREMELY SERIOUS" about this, and they really want our feedback about it, so let's give 'em some.

First, the product itself is one that many of us disapprove of on aesthetic grounds, and I'm in that camp myself.  The Hippie Mulch website describes faded mulch as a problem that must be fixed, either by adding more mulch or using a colorant, but of course I disagree.  From that mistaken assumption, they derive the whole tree-saving pitch - "One jar can save up to 8 trees" - because without their product, we'd be buying more mulch, and "New mulch involves cutting down trees, and burning diesel fuel during the grinding and transportation process. We felt that a hippie would probably choose to save a few trees, and avoid the additional exhaust from the diesel fuel."

But actual gardeners know that mulch is about much more than aesthetics - we want the stuff to break down and improve the soil.  Replacing mulch every year is the one big thing I do for my garden, besides water.  I asked the Hippie Mulch team about this and was told that "Many horticulturists are proud of their gardens and keeping them looking "fresh" (in addition to healthy) is of the utmost importance."  Right.

But wait - who said mulch has to come from trees, trees that are cut down just for the mulch?  My mulch of choice is made from dead leaves.

Next, what's in Hippie Mulch? Don't look to the website for that answer, beyond the marketing language that it's a "a unique blend of environmentally friendly additives and binders allow the color to penetrate the wood surface, lock on to the fibers, and adhere for long lasting beauty".

Wouldn't a good hippie want to see the ingredient list?  This hippie sure would.

Yes, I happen to have been a '60s hippie in good standing myself and have actual memories of using some of the language used on the Hippie Mulch website - "blow my mind,"  "chill time,"  "Peace, man."  Oh, yes, I did!  And how about the colors this stuff comes in:  beatnik brown, dig-it dark brown, bellbottom black, groovy gold, ringo red, and rush red. 

Okay, I admit it - hippie jargon is really annoying. 

Take the Survey, or Leave a Comment

Again if you're wondering if this is a late April Fool's joke, I was told that that question is "slightly offensive" and that "The company we are working with has paid St. Thomas U. and the Small Business Institute for our consulting work and this is the equivalent of a Thesis for our major. We have poured countless hours into serving our client and the only thing we get out of this (other than real world experience) is a final college credit. Thus far, every single blog that we have reached out to has taken this seriously, as I believe you should too." 

So I guess I should just chill.  Peace, man!

Comments

[Mary Gray]

I agree with Liz. I'm always a little embarrassed to have too much fresh mulch showing...it looks too brand spankin' new, sort of like going around in new white sneakers.

[Autumn]

Until I moved to the East from MI, I don't ever remember seeing a mulched tree. I call my neighbors mulch gardeners, not flower gardeners. I bet they'll buy it.

[Michelle D]

Brought to you from The University of Stupid.

[Ellen W.]

I'm in a new place and waiting for my plants to fill in and I do get grouchy about the way my mulch fades to a dun color. So theoretically I'd be interested in this stuff.

Maybe, MAYBE, I'd spray with some kind of henna thing to make it less grey. Just to make sure the HOA doesn't get mad at me*. But some random unknown chemical dye? No. I'd rather buy those disposable plants they sell at Home Depot and the grocery store.

*My HOA board members are very, very nice people, but they are mostly real estate agents and, as such, have very conservative ideas of what a front yard should look like.

[Erica / Northwest Edible Life]

That was awesome. What a great laugh. I'm wondering if we can get a micro-spray that will allow us to paint flies to look like bees, too. Bees are much nicer than flies, after all...

[professorroush]

I'm in the minority...I'd like to see what is in it, but since I mostly mulch with grass clippings (leaving a little aesthetically to be desired), I wouldn't mind having this available at times....as long as it biodegrades, environmentally friendly, etc. It's certainly no worse than a painted plastic gnome (you know who you are!)

[Sandra Flood]

Still laughting, even after taking the survey which was pathetic. These guys haven't a clue what questions to ask. As to the product, who would want to waste time and money spraying their mulch, let alone "replacing" it. Here mulch is made from scrap wood, another way of added value for the sawmills. Surely nobody cuts down trees especially to make them into mulch? Or maybe in a crackpot world that sells colorant for mulch, they do so help us.

[Terry Ettinger]

There have been a variety of sprayer-applied mulch dyes available to the landscape industry for at least twenty years - e.g., LESCO "Nu-Mulch." In fact, a number of years ago a large property manager in Ohio told me the product saved his company $100,000 per year in the cost of mulch, transportation, and the labor to apply the mulch! (Potentially very environmentally friendly considering the amount of fuel saved?) Also, the various "colored" mulches available in bulk at garden centers across the country are dyed with the same type of material as the wood material is being ground - so, again, there's nothing new about this product - other than it's now being marketed directly to the consumer. There's no question in my mind - for better or worse - that there is absolutely a market for this stuff!

[Melissa]

Just came back to see if we're on cyber Candid Camera or Punk'd....

[Gail]

I have a client that would go for this. He bought the colored mulch aka ground pallets until he took a walk in the neighborhood and found a color of mulch (that looked better with his siding)some sort of fir mulch for $40/yd! Crazy man!!! Hey it must be safe she isn't wearing any protective gear. I could save a commercial client a chunk of change by spraying on a color vs reapplying it all the time-at least its not stone. Hmmm maybe we could spray stone "mulch" to look like bark mulch. Must pursue this....peace out.

[The Phytophactor]

Oh, man, that seriously ugly stuff is bringing me down. Maybe you're like supposed to smoke it, dude?

[Alicia]

Thanks for the laugh Susan!

I took the survey only to be able to rank 'dye-free' as my priority for mulch.

[Cindy @ enclos*ure]

If this actually makes it to the stores, I anticipate someone using it to stencil designs on their old mulch -- actually that could be pretty funny for a season.

[Barbara Hobens]

NO!

[Donna Lane]

I hope everyone reading and commenting about this who writes a blog or a newspaper column will use it as fodder for educating the public about mulch, how valuable it is and why gardens need it.

Ranting about this to each other is great fun, and some of your responses -- well, I wish I had written them. But, I think we have to take this kind of crap seriously and keep preaching the gospel of good, sound environmental practices.

[Les]

Do they have color swatches available? I want to hold the samples next to my astro-turf lawn, vinyl picket fence and faux boulders to see what color looks the best.

[thistleandthorn]

Sorry kids, but you are actually a little late on the whole idea of spray-on color. Down in Florida (naturally) maintenance companies have been using spray-on color for several years now. Duh, dudes.

[Sally in SC]

Spray on mulch color has been around for quite a while. Many years ago I worked for a "landscaper" who sprayed it on the cigarette butts and other trash in the mulched beds. Also sprayed anything overhanging the pathways to make the edges look neat...

[Judy Laushman]

This cannot be for real. It's like an NPR April Fool story.

[greg draiss]

PANAMA RED, DRIVING MY TRAIN, COCAINE, LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS.............

The TROLL

[gardengeri]

thanks for a good laugh

[Geoff Lewis]

Back in my day we mulched with real hippies. If they pass out on your lawn, they're fair game.

[Gordon Matassa]

I agree with Jemma....why no tie dye?

This is all rather ridiculous. I don't understand why the're trying to market this in such a way. It's too forced of a connection and it just doesn't work.

[Agnes]

"Bellbottom Black?" Seriously?

I propose "Nixonheart Black."

[Pam J.]

I wish I could "like" Michelle D's comment.